Fake News – Special Edition: Thermonuclear Warming

Today we recovered a hard disk purchased on eBay that contained detailed plans from a pentagon team preparing a defence shield for Greenland and the north pole. The TOP SECRET files contained detailed calculations of North Korea targeting Greenland and the polar ice caps. The report titled “Global Thermonuclear Warming” discussed a secret plan by the North Koreans to target polar ice sheets in the hopes to threaten a global sea rise that would instantly advance global warming sea level rise estimate by 100 years.

img_1758The report, authored by the Middlebury Institute of International Studies at Monterey identified a 45KT device that could be delivered to the north pole vaporizing enough ice to raise global sea levels by .78m Such a large impulse driven rise in sea level would eclipse the estimates made by the Paris climate agreement for 2100.

The report noted that millions could be displaced by targeting just a few vulnerable arctic ice sheets. It was addressed to Mr Trump and his National Security Council (NSC) encouraging them to rapidly deploy a  Terminal High Altitude Area Defense (THAAD) to Greenland. THAAD Manufactured by Lockheed Martin who noted that they had enough capacity to deploy systems for both South Korea and Greenland but would need time to research the operating environment for the arctic. “The system is currently operational for environments within -55°C to 125°C, ” but had not been field tested for extreme negative temperatures. Lockheed’s Director of STMMF (Systems that Make Money Fast) advanced  an interest  in “progressively targeting granular niche markets” such as those ice shelves in both arctic circles.

The classified report also noted that 70% of the arctic circle was within operation range of the former USSR and that THAAD systems could only protect a portion of the north pole’s ice sheets. Cooperation to protect the northern icecaps, notably was out of scope.

The Antarctic (South Pole) was discussed but was referred to in another report that was not located on the same drive array we obtained.  We continue to follow boordroom_tech for more pentagon enterprise drive arrays.

LMT Stock was up in trading with #northpole trending on linked-in accounts that had also authored Digital Forensics Intelligence (DFI) Bulletin #57 5/5/2011

 

Note Well: the above is fiction, until it isn’t

 



Categories: Fake News

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